sometimes, i wonder if it'd be ok to email an old flame a simple hi just to say hi and how're you doing.

would it be ok to do so?

is it wrong that i am curious or want to still have some sort of correspondence even though i am currently with someone whom i adore dearly?

what does this mean, this curiosity i have of this old flame?

am i afraid because i feel as though i might possilby still have some leftover feelings for this old flame? or am i afraid i may stray away from the current flame? but no, that can never be as i love thee.

yet still, i have this urge to want to attempt this correspondence with the old flame. or could it be that i am afraid if i write the old flame, i would not receive a response back? perhaps i am afraid of that simple rejection...the rejection of being ignored? how silly is that? then again, if i don't attempt to try, i would never know would i?

i also wonder if the old flame ever once in a small while still read my words? or has he completely forgotten about the girl who clung on and never gave up hope despite all the wrong signs until one day when she finally realized it was time to let go and move on? would he ever write again to say hello? i wish he would. afterall, he did me a favor without meaning to and helped me free myself in order to fall head over heels for someone else who currently is still very much in my life. i thank thee for that. yet, after all this time has passed, everytime i pass on by ye bourbon street shrimp, i think of thee. is that crazy or what? or am i just human? would we ever meet face to face again? this is crazy. why do i wonder such things? i wish i didn't as i makes my insides twist with guilt even if it's human to think this way. what say you?

oh and on a totally different subject, i've recently discovered jem though she's been around a bit, i think? i absolutely adore "they" and "finally woken." i wanted to get tickets for her upcomings la shows, but i think they're sold out. bah. perhaps i'll show up for her signing in at that store in long beach next weekend.