-me

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So my boss fired our vice-president today. Actually, he had handed him the termination papers two weeks ago, but no one knew until today. They had a big, nasty yelling argument in the front office this morning. Surprisingly, no one in the back studio heard any of it.

We had to change the alarm code immediately after he was asked to leave the building since he threatened to take down the company. My boss called a staff meeting soon after and told us that we'll all eventually be getting our own personal alarm system code so they can track who goes in and out of the office during afterhours and on the weekends. This sort of precaution makes me a bit freaked out. I think it's a great idea but somehow it makes me feel uneasy, like "being watched." Hopefully, they won't end up installing spycams. I mean, sometimes I get wedgies since my thongs like to ride up a bit higher than I'd like so I have to get up there and pull it back down. I wouldn't want that to be caught on tape. Also, what if I have to pick my nose?

Speaking of picking noses, I have this compulsive habit of cleaning my keyboard and mouse with those disinfectant wipes whenever I think someone's been using my computer. Basically, I think that if I pick my nose, then everyone else probably does, too. Come'on, tell me you all do that and then go right back and touch everything within your reach. Nasty, yes, but it happens.

This brings me to the story about a freelancer we often hire because he gets the job done. So, this freelancer, his name is Doug. Doug is a really huge, heavy-set, pimply or cystic-faced, fourty-something, rude, obnoxious illustrator who has recently been alot more polite due to freelance scarceness, but he's got these two nasty habits.

One, he uses OUR rulers to scratch his bare back when he thinks no one is looking. We've caught him doing it quite a few times and no one seems to know what to say to him. Plus, everyone is afraid to use the rulers now. I've been contemplating whether I should offer him my never-used back scratcher, but I'm not sure how to approach him about it. I was going to go straight up to him and offer him the back scratcher and tell him to please not use the rulers for scratching purposes. Anybody got other ideas?

Two, he never leaves the fan on or lights the incense when he's had the runs. Sometimes, he even leaves splattered poo inside the toilet bowl and part of the toilet seat. It's pretty disgusting. We've had quite a number of people, including myself run right back out the bathroom after getting either a whiff of his sour poo or seeing the splatters. I mean, I would be horrified to leave the bathroom like that if I made a mess that big. Is it rude to leave your mess like that for everyone to see? I mean, maybe he doesn't realize he made the mess. It's just that I know other people and I all check to see if we've left anything behind and if we did, we'd clean it up or flush a 2nd time until the evidence it gone.

The funny thing is that I've overheard my boss say that he's walked down the street to use the bathroom at Starbuck's. Imagine that....your own boss afraid to use his own company's bathroom.

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Note: This was the third time I wrote this update because one, microsoft word decided to *unexpectedly quit* on me after the first time and two, my mac decided to *freeze* on me after the second attempt. You have no idea how frustrated I was. Or, maybe you do.