This is Bill Sanders with the Satellite Fulfillment Center. I'm sorry to leave a message but my previous tries of getting in touch with you has been unsuccessful, but your home has been randomly selected to receive a complete in-home satellite system. Congratulations! Your system comes complete with your own satellite dish, up to 11 digital receivers, 4 universal remote controls, complete with installation. You'll receive more than twice as many channels as regular cable and we now have all your local channels available. If you would like to take advantage of this promotion or find out more information, just push one on your keypad now and you'll be connected to one of our representatives.

Ha! A machine with a pre-recorded message has been trying to get ahold of me just to tell me I won a satellite system. Uh, yeah, whatever. I don't even own a home.

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Anyway, I'm feeling much better now, thank you very much! Still bruised, but that strong, smart, witty girl is in me and I ain't gonna let no skunk get her down again.

I've had some time to think over things now and I've had the opportunity to speak to a few supportive people. Thanks y'all! I love you guys. *awwww.....*

Ok, so I've come to the conclusion that the first thing I must do in order to move on other than cutting off contact is by making a list of why Mr. Skunky is no good. You've unleashed a vicious bitch. I ain't 100% sugary sweet. This, by the way is to help cheer me up. I must train myself to feel hatred for him, although that will be followed by forgiveness at a later point, of which hopefully I will forget about anyway. *applause, please*

Here goes:

1) I had a list, but I just deleted it . (next morning)

2) Ditto

3) Ditto

Ok, I'm starting to feel guilty writing all these dirty little facts and then that saying, "What goes around, comes around" keeps popping up in my head, so instead, I will make a new list of what I should and should not do with future dates.

1) I will not let a boy kiss me until the third date.

2) I will not let a boy sleep with me until after a month's time (possibly 2) of consistent dating and consistent calling. This will have to equal out to at least 2-3 dates/week, of at least one will fall on the weekends. These dates will not only take place in the evening, but they will also take place in broad daylight. If they are not as consistent, he will have to wait even longer until he's earned enough points.

3) If I ask him out, he will say "yes" every time unless he's got proof that he seriously can't make it and if that happens, he will immediately reschedule another date.

4) He will not allow me to pay at all, not even the tip during this first month of courtship.

5) If he calls me "Sweetie" or "Hon" or anything else like that right off the bat, I will know he calls everyone else that and it's just a way of drawing the girl in. I'm smarter than that now.

6) I will not fall for him constantly telling me how beautiful or pretty I look. This is just like #5. He would have more to say more than compliment my physical outlook.

7) He will treat me and all others with respect. Any angry outbursts will not be acceptable. Any sign of annoyance directed at me in any way will also not be acceptable. And any truly mean sarcastic remark that is meant to demeanor me will not be acceptable.

8) If I ask him about himself, he will be more than happy to answer. If he refuses to talk about himself, I will know he is hiding something.

9) And no matter how good-looking or cute he is, I will not succumb to him and think he can change.

10) If he showers me with gifts and flowers, I will still not sleep with him any earlier than mentioned above with pre-requisites.

11) He must also introduce me to his friends and he will not be afraid to meet my friends. And, I will not sleep with him until we've met each other's friends.

12) He will answer all emails and rather fast, too....filled with nice, conversational messages.

13) I must remember that if a guy is truly interested in seeing me, he will not make up excuses that he is always busy and is always working, even at home on the weekends. Bullshit. If he truly wants to see me, he'd make time.

14) Do not believe and hang on to every word he says as sweet and gentle it might sound. Really look at him when he talks to you...sometimes you can pick up key clues.

15) I must carry my bible, The Boyfriend Test: How to Evaluate His Potential Before You Lose Your Heart by Wendy L. Walsh everywhere I go. If you see a girl carrying it around, it must be me.

Ok, how does that sound for a start? I'm sure there'd be more to add later but that's it for now. I feel so much better already.