Well, I just experienced that tonight while shopping at the Westside Pavilion Mall. After shopping I was starving and decided to grab a late dinner at the foodcourt. The janitors were already putting the chairs up on the tables. I was gulfing down my food as quickly as I could since the mall was about to close and they were already starting to turn down the lights.

I was looking around as I ate and I noticed a man sitting behind me and toward the left. I could tell he was facing me and somehow I just felt his eyes on me. I ate quicker. People were still around me but they were quickly disappearing. Just as I was about to get up, the man comes up to me and asks if he could join me at my table. I told him I was about to leave. He looked at me as if that was just an excuse to get away from him. It was partly true. So, he tries again asks if he could sit down. I look behind him and say that there is no chair for him to sit down, which was true. He tries harder and finally I decide to at least be nice. He introduces himself and starts small chat. He thinks I'm a student. I tell him I am not and say that I'm a graphic designer. He says, "Oh, no kidding, my sister studied graphic design." I'm thinking, "Yeah, right." So, he asks if I could do some design for this athletic clothing company he's starting up. I'm thinking, "Um, yeah like I really believe you." So, he gives me his number just as I'm about to get up and leave. Then, I say to him, "Why don't you just have your sister do the design for you?" He looks at me and quickly says, "Oh, she's too busy now and teaches." I'm thinking, "Ha! You are such a liar!" We say our good-byes and I walk off quickly, hoping he wouldn't be following me.

I walk REALLY fast and find that the entrance to Nordstrom's where I came in is closed! I have to go through the side entrance out on the streets to reach the parking lot and I finally make it to the safety of my car. My heart is beating really fast and I am relieved.

He wasn't the only man watching me tonight. I was in the shoe section at Robinson's May and an older gentleman walked by me, stops for a second, and says, "Ooooh, you are so beautiful." I just smile. Then, sometime after that, another older gentleman walks by me and says something along the same lines. It makes me feel good but at the same time, I feel dirty. I mean, kinda like I've been harrassed or something. AND, it's always the much older gentlemen who actually approach me. It gives me the creeps. I mean, these guys could pass for my dad for crying outloud. Dirty old bastards. It's sickening.

Speaking of old dirty bastards....last fall I joined this online dating service called Matchmaker out of curiosity because one of my coworkers told me about it. I really didn't go on it to try and meet guys. It got to be fun and I loved the attention I was getting from all these strangers. It got to be a bit addicting and I found myself going on it for hours, reading all these letters I was getting. There were alot of older men on the site that were writing me and it kinda replused me. I ended up meeting some of these men... the younger ones, of course. None were my type at all except for one guy. I found out that I really enjoyed exchanging mail from some of these guys but as soon as I met them, I lost interest and that's where the fun would end.

I think all of these guys were pretty nice but I don't think Matchmaker is a great place to meet men, at least not for me. I've recently joined again just out of curiousity and it's kinda boring. It doesn't seem like there are alot of quality men on the site, which is kinda depressing. I've talked to a few guys who I've kept emailing and they've turned out to be great email buddies. They tell me about their experiences and it shocks me that a bunch of these girls on the site will sleep with a guy even on the first date. It's sorta degrading. I'm actually embarressed to be on the site because of this. I mean, I'm starting to think that people basically go on there to get laid. I'm also embarressed because I've checked out some of the girls on the site and more than half aren't even that attractive. I've seen quite a few who are beautiful and I can't believe they're even on the site. Some of the girls have these ultra sexy, here I am, come and get me type of pictures. I was looking at them and I was thinking, "Jesus, this is soooo degrading, why I am even posting a picture of myself on here. I don't need to do this." BUT, I still do simply because I guess I want to see how I fare....maybe for a little ego boost.