written 12/31/04 at 2:34pm
it seems unfair that i am here, dry, safe, unstarving, having not lost any friends, familly or other loved ones when all the way on the other side of the world all those thousands of people who have lost everything to the tsunami disaster. i sit here watching cnn, observing the countless stories of lost, tears welling up in my eyes. i want to help. i want to be over there. i want to give hugs to those who have lost entire families, though i'd be a stranger. i feel helpless not to physically being doing something, lending emotional support to those who need it even if we speak different languages.

it is new year's eve, sunny and bright here in cali. the rain has stopped momentarily. it's a time of celebrating the closing of a year and the beginning of a new one, yet i am not in the mood to celebrate when so many are suffering out there. it seems so unfair and i so want to help. and though i will be donating money i feel it's not enough. so many will need therapy, an ear to listen to, a body to hold and cry on. should we even be celebrating when there is so much mourning? i have an urge to drop everything right now, hop on a plane and join the disaster help crews. the photos of bodies, floating in water, bloated and rotting, bruised and bloody...something i could never have fathomed, but it's true, it's real and it's happening at this very moment. it could have easily been you or i or your mother, father, brother, sister, friend and foe. i hope people will give what they can to those who are now helpless and have been left with nothing, not even a family member.

written tonight, fresh, new, right now. so my bday on the 29th was a blast. oso surprised me with a birthday shindig at el cholo in santa monica where about 20 people showed up to help celebrate me! afterwards, we walked across the street to temple bar where we had some drinks. oso gave me a canon i6000 photo printer but we returned it because i had my heart set on a compact one. i still haven't made decision as to which one i want for sure, yet. i'm still doing some research.

between my birthday and new year's, i got two days off so i had a 4day weekend which was nice for a change. it still felt like a regular 2 day weekend, though. time just seems to fly when you're enjoying life.

for new year's eve, we had a house party at a friend's house. it was so packed that it was hard to walk around. i suppose that means the party was a success.

over the weekend we saw 3 movies: meet the fockers, flight of he phoenix and spanglish. i enjoyed all three equally.

oh, for xmas. oso gave me an ipod mini, belkin ipod mini tunebase fm, and an ipod mini armband for when i workout.

this past year's been good to me. i must have been good for the most part because i received so many gifts for xmas than i ever did any other year. of course, the best thing was getting a great job and being invited onboard and at the same time still receiving contacts from employers asking if i'd be interested in working for them full-time.

oh yes, and i was invited by oso to spend xmas eve with his family since my immediate family wasn't able to celebrate on our typical xmas eve due to my sister not being able to fly back in town until xmas morning. it all worked out.