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The P.S. section of Cousin Max's letter:

p.s. as the most hairy asian in our family, i must announce i am now getting a hairy back and also now have hairs from my asshole. and there ain't no shaving/waxing that. Why can't i be normal?

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My response to Max:

This is really just a note for the hairy one...an afterthought really.

Have you considered laser hair removal? I hear them advertising that over here in LA all the time. Also, the prices are not too bad....something like $30 per session. You usually need like 3-4 sessions, I believe. I could be wrong. I have this image of Max wearing a hospital gown, on his hands and knees in the doggie position with some hot laser hair removal chick trying to remove hair from his asshole. Oooh, too funny! I am sick, always having such vivid visuals.

Ya know what? I'm getting inspired from all this now. I have an urge to paint.

Oh, hey, can you guys tell me when you start noticing the first sign of gray hair in the pubic area? A 41-year old coworker friend of mine told me that when she goes for her bikini wax, she also gets it dyed. It has never occurred to me that pubic hair goes gray. Actually, she's the second person I know who gets her bush dyed. The other woman is a copywriter from when I was working as an intern in Irvine.

Rachel (being bored)

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And finally, a response from Cousin Angie in response to my letter:

Rachel, you are a sick sick woman, and you make me laugh. If you paint a picture of Max getting his

butthair lasered off, I'll buy it from you. for a penny.

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I was laughing so hard my face turned beet-red and I felt my cheeks burning up like that of some ravenous venereal disease, which by the way reminds me that the 50-something year old lady who was standing in front me at RiteAid today was buying a box of vaginal yeast infection treatment. Yikes. That just seems plain gross. I mean, yes, it's gross whenever anyone gets it, but I just never thought of an older, more mature woman getting yeast infections, which by the way would make good sense as older people tend to have lower immune systems, thus they'd be more prone to infections, such as that of a vaginal yeast infection. Why the heck am I thinking about this? Sheesh. Man, I crack myself up over my silliness.

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By the way, have I mentioned that I have some very, very, very funny cousins....almost all of whom are smarter than me because they have all gone to such prestigious schools such as Princeton, Harvard, Standford, Berkeley, and MIT? Christ, even my brother and my sister went to USC and UCLA, respectively. Now why am I the only one who went to a Cal State system? Not that anything's wrong with that. I just seem to be out of place compared to them as far as education goes. Actually, I'm not giving myself enough credit here...you don't necessarily have to go to a prestigious school in order to be dubbed the title of being smart. I think I'm smart, I just chose to not have done so well in high school as my mind was focused elsewhere. I chose to NOT follow the road my parents would have preferred me to and for that, I am courageous for going against their wishes. Oh, yes, I also chose to SAVE my parents money by going to a not so expensive university....now that is smart, is it not? I am rambling on and on....I must stop.