I didn't know this until a few days ago when my brother said he had to attend Eddie's Memorial Service before we all go home for Father's Day. In my mind I was thinking, "What? A memorial service? Isn't that for when someone dies?" So, I asked my sister about it and sure enough, right over a plate of tamales, rice and beans during lunchbreak, my sister told me the horrible news. I couldn't believe it. I was like, "What? Is this the same Eddie who I met, who was Sammy's roomate?" He was a short, little guy. Really nice.

I've never really personally known anyone who's committed suicide. It's a strange feeling. It saddens me. I didn't know the guy that well, but I think I can understand how depression can do that to someone. I know because I've thought of it many times this year. Only I've been too chicken to go through with it. That or there's that little hope left in me that keeps saying, "Everything will be alright even if nothing seems bright & cheery." It's almost like your life is going nowhere. It's at a standstill. Nothing seems to interest you or motivate you until someone really makes you smile or laugh. And, I'm sad, very sad that Eddie had to go through that. I'm also sad that his own father had to find him dead on Father's Day. I mean, just imagine if you were a father and your own son kills himself on your day. God, poor, poor dad. It's horrible.

Anyway, I started Father's Day by waking up at 8:30. I got to work by 8:45 am. They pay me by the hour on the weekends now. I wanted to get in as many hours as possible. The funny thing is that I have to be at work by 9 every morning and there I was on a day where there is no work and I'm there before 9! I stayed in the office for two hours. Then, I rushed home to meet a client who ended up staying 3.5 hours. I drew a penis and some nuts for him on my computer. Yeah, that's right. It's a label for a new product in a sex toy shop. I've got a sample penis on my desk right now. It's about a quarter of an inch tall.

So, after that was over, I rushed out to pick up my sister and then my brother. We stopped by Walmart on the way to my parents to get some halogen lamp bulbs since mine's been out for the past 3 months. We took our parents out to a new Sushi place and were planning to split the cost of dinner between the three of us, but mom wouldn't let us. Instead, they paid for it and once we got home, she ended up giving us each $40! I didn't want to take it, but she forced it on me.

Alright, alright...a little bit of me wanted it, but it also made me feel guilty taking it. Not only that, but the first thing us kids did when we got home was go for the storage of toilet paper and paper towels my mom keeps upstairs. We each grabbed a couple and prepared them for taking back home with us. My mom even gave us each a couple sheets of stamps and a container of quarters for laundry. It makes me feel like I'm still 18 yrs old and coming home from college for the weekend just to scavenge some necessities. I have a feeling, as long as my mom is still around, she will always want to still take care of us. It's nice even if I try very hard to be as independent as possible. I think my parents were just so happy to see that us kids came home to see them for Father's Day.

It's not too often that we all see each. Each time, things just get a bit better and more meaningful. I mean, dad had such a blast showing us pics he took with his new digital camera and showing us his medical school alumni brochure, telling us of how more than a decade ago, the school only consisted of two buildings and now it's expanded 10 times as big. I'm glad we were there to make him happy and tell his stories. I'm only sorry that Eddie's father doesn't have that.