You come home drained of energy and all that's left is this dark hole, void of hope. It eats at you from the inside out. You know you have to do laundry, but you don't and a pile of dirty clothes is recycled over and over for more than a month even though the laundry room is only 15 feet in front of your front door. You start spraying stuff on it in case it smells funny or stick it in a Dryel dryer bag when you don't feel so lazy. You leave your rice in the rice cooker at the back of the frig, where it grows moldy for a couple of months. You know you have to take the trash out because your apartment's starting to smell a bit funky, but you're too lazy to walk 40 feet around the corner to throw it down the garbage chute.

You are constantly reaching out, trying to get a grasp of the sea that swallows you every night and the only thing that you feel is a little string every now and then.....it's a string that connects you from your fingertips to the keyboard to the little wires that connect you to the outside world, where others possibly like you exist to hear your little voice, only they don't. They see your voice in characters and sometimes in a good little while, your voice is able to touch them deeply. That's when they send back a little spark. That spark gives you hope.

You continue on with your life, only to feel this deep, dark emptiness within your thumping heart. I'm not sure how you manage it every day. All I crave at the moment is a hug.....a hug that'll make it all go away. A hug that will cure it all because hugs are great. And, I so want a hug right now.......

And I think, how funny it is....that a movie or a book or someone's writing can create such powerful emotions. Or even knowing that your friends are all getting married. You sit there amidst the crowd surrounded by wonderful people. You listen to what they have to say and yet, inside, nothing means anything to you. And you wonder how you came to be this way.....to feel like the loneliest person in the world. I think I must be going insane....

I wonder how many people out there feel the same way and there's that part of me that hopes I'll be heard and little sparks from all over will be shot my way just so I know, I have been heard.