Yesterday, I made plans to go out on a 'date' tonight with someone I really like. The date was set for 8pm.I think I've been stood up. No, I have been because it is past 8:30pm and I have not heard from him. I left a message on his cell phone and I even called 411 to get his new number. Still, no word. I would at least expect some common courtesy from him to let me know what's up.

Ok, it's not like he never tried to reach me. Maybe there was just some miscommunication. I'm trying to remain calm and reasonable, afterall he did try paging me earlier, but had punched in the wrong area code. So, when I called, I got this weird message telling me to punch in my code number. What code number?! I figured it was a misdial since that has been occuring recently. I think nothing of it and now I wish I had looked into trying to find out whose number it had been. If only I had looked in my phone book, I would've recognized the numbers. What can I do, right?

We've been REALLY busy at work and they needed me to stay late tonight but I told them I already made plans. I get home and I get a message from my 'date' wondering what happened and to call him back at work. By then, it was 7:30pm. I get this really strange feeling he's going to be a no-show since it's not the first time this has happened with him. So, what now? Stay pissed and forever hold a grudge against him? Or chill and believe it was just a simple miscommunication?

I swear, I have never ever been stood up by anyone except for this one guy and yet why am I willing to continue? I must be fucked up somewhere. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and try to think of all possible reasons. I'll just sit here and blow bubbles, get my carpet all soapy, and hope I don't slip. I'm tired now. Need food. Need sleep. Need sex......oh actually, no that's not true. Too tired and too hungry to want sex.

I've just mentioned the three pleasures of life. I wonder how most people would rate these three pleasures of life. For me, I'd say food, then sleep, then sex. Right now, I want food, then sleep, and sex is not even on my mind at he moment. Not at all. So, because I'm feeling exhausted right now, I'm not so upset anymore. I forgive you, no show date. Just let me know you didn't mean it. Felix, don't you dare laugh at me! I know how amusing you are finding what I write about here. Am I being a good sport? Yes, I am!

Oh, I'm embarressed to say, my friend, Felix just told me I spelled octopus in the plural form incorrectly. Oops! So, I'm a terrible speller. It's should be octopi.

Someone (you know who you are) just wrote and told me this:

"You seem to rant and rave about guys alot. What is up with that? Why do you diss the sweet guys? Not all sweet guys are dorks ya know. It seems you come across either really cool, good looking guys who are shitheads, or really sweet nice guys who you are not that attracted to? Whassup with that?"

My answer is: I don't know! I am picky as hell. I can't help it if I'm attracted to cool, good-looking guys who are shitheads. I think I keep thinking they could change out of their shithead deal. You can't really change a person, although you can somewhat influence them.

My last ex is VERY good-looking, but a complete shithead. I guess I never learn. When will I? It's kinda like when your first job pays you $10/hr...that means, your next job, you cannot go lower than that. I don't want to downgrade. I want to upgrade. My last ex was good-looking and talented in the artistic field and yes, he was smart, but not smart enough for me because he never pursued real conversations with me. We didn't have a real mental connection. He was almost purely obssessed with the way I looked til one day he got smart and realized he wasn't in love with who I was as a person but what I looked like. He couldn't even look at me the last time we saw each other because he said if he did, he'd want me a certain way and it wasn't right.

Now, I want something more. For every guy that passes through my life I learn from them. So, it's a good thing to experience different relationships because you learn about yourself and what you really want.

As for sweet guys, I think I just haven't come across one who I feel strongly about. Why is that? This is a subject matter I am completely baffled by. Maybe I need to go see a shrink. Hehe. For those of you who have been reading my stuff, you be the judge. Am I stable or unstable?