What straw was it that broke the camel's back this time 'round? Accepting the fact that I am miserable at work; accepting that what I am doing is not challenging enough; that sometimes my superiors seem a bit shallow when it comes to inadvertently down-sizing what you're worth; not receiving credit where credit is deserved; being too damn chicken to find a new job; being too damn lazy to focus on updating a portfolio; and worst of all, not doing anything about any of it. Because really, if I want to be happy, I need to make changes. Right? Right!

It's also realizing that I'm not the only one who feels this way at work. It really just hits you like a punch, not that I've ever been punched, but it just makes you feel 10 times even more bitter. And all this, while on a lunch break, buying new bras and thongs at Victoria's Secret. It's a women thing, ok? Just like binging on chocolate and other foods.

Then it escalated on top of my feeling all sorts of lonely these days. I mean I've been feeling rather down lately. I cannot remember what it's like to be in a fully trustworthy relationship, feeling completely and deliriously happy, waking up each morning knowing that the other will be there always and knowing that you could just take off to some amazingly relaxing place like Santa Barbara. I have never even been to Santa Barbara, but I can just imagine what that could be like: walking on clouds.

And each day keeps on rolling by like there's no tomorrow and all that's happening to me is that I'm getting older and the older I get, the less chance anyone would want me. And, all around me are people getting engaged or married left and right. I just stand there acting as if it doesn't bother me that I'm not even close to being in that position when deep down I'm sad. I put on this front of staying strong. I keep thinking about what Minnie Driver's character, Benny said to Jack in Circle of Friends. She told him not to mess her up because even though she may look tough on the outside like a dinosaur, she's got skin as thin as an onion. Well, it was something like that, but you know what I mean.

By the end of the day, I was feeling so antsy, I just really wanted to have a couple of drinks in good company. Unfortunately, chosen victim was stuck at work, but at least he took the time to chat a bit and cheered me up somewhat. What a great guy. I really like that fella. Best of all, he took my number and actually called me back later to confirm he wouldn't be able to make it for drinks and again took the time to see if I wanted to talk about my "feeling all sorts of crappy." I really didn't expect him to call so that double-cheered me up. I can't help but to swoon over him.

Anyway, I ordered in some pizza and decided to rent another movie just to pass time. Heartbreakers was the lucky winner this time 'round and ya know what? I bawled at the end of this movie, too. I have turned into one of "those." Then, I bawled some more because I was so happy someone like the aforementioned remembered me enough to give me back a call. It was just one of those days. I'm feeling A-Ok now. So, I think I will sleep peacefuly tonight. No nightmares.