I ache in the sense that my mind aches in sadness. Sadness because I witnessed a great many beings behind bars. Four-legged beings. Cat-beings and dog-beings more specifically.

So, after working out at Bally's today, I heard barking. Dog barking. It was an unusual amount of dog barking that I had never noticed before despite the past several times I had been to the gym. I thought to myself, "Could it be that there's an animal shelter right next door?" I got in my car, whipped out two quarters to pay the lady at the exit of the Bally's parking lot. [ I still cannot get over the fact that I must pay 50 cents every time I go to the gym. Only Bally's in LA would do that.....as far as I know. Who knows.....New York probably does that, as well.]

Anyway, I drove out of the parking lot, made a left-turn and noticed the building next door was indeed, an animal shelter.

Now, since I've been thinking of adopting a cat for quite some time now and it was pure coincidence that I had just planned to check out a few animal shelters with a friend today, I decided to check this one out on my own.

I walked into the building and was guided by the man in uniform at the counter to walk in door 1 for viewing of rabbits, door 2 for viewing of cats, and door 3 for viewing of dogs. First of all, I had no idea animal shelters housed rabbits & guinea pigs & hamsters. And, there they were. I quickly looked them over and proceeded through door 2, the cat section.

The first thing I see when I walked through door 2 are these two, big black eyes staring at me. They were not cat eyes. Instead, they belonged to this most darling little 2.5-month black pug with this little piglet tail. He sat there, quietly staring at me and I so wanted to hug him. I wanted to whip him out of there and take him home with me. I wanted him to be mine, yet I knew I could not have him. Not because the owner had not come to pick him up, but more because my apartment complex does not cater to dogs. It does not also cater to cats, parrots, or reptiles but I think I can get away with it. Cats are quiet enough to be hidden away in my unit.

Anyway, back to the pug...he was the only little pup at the shelter and so they decided to house him with the felines. I felt an immediate bonding with the pug, but I have a feeling everybody else who came in there, did as well. He was the attention-getter besides the feisty long-haired kitty that almost clawed me while I was checking out the little kitten hiding behind his water bowl above feisty kitty's cage. (Do not stand too close to the cages.) Little black kitten was real sweet and I thought about owning her, but she seemed a bit too shy. I don't think I want to own a shy kitty that won't let me touch her. Nor do I want a wild kitty that needs to take some medication that'll calm her down. Yes, I saw a kitty on some sort of medication for that.

As I peeked into each cage and viewed over their typed-up information, I was saddened because that's when I realized most of them were up for review in a few days, which I imagined it to meant life or death for the furry creatures. They were in jail as if they committed some sort of horrible crime even though we pretty much know their only crime was that too many of them exist with us humans. Poor, poor, poor kitties and doggies. At that moment, I wanted to cry. I wanted to take them all home and yet, I took no one home.

I am selfish because I want a little kitten vs. a 1, 2, or 3-year old kitty. I wanted a kitten that had an attractive coat and a cute little face. And, I did not see one that had that combination. Sure, they're all cute, but I was looking for a connection, a connection like I felt with the pug. At that moment, I thought about how choosing a pet and taking him/her home is a huge commitment. I mean, the cat that you eventually take home will be with you for years and years to come and if you're going to live with a cat or dog, you must choose one that you think you can live with. And that, that is the reason why I was looking for a connection. In a way, I think it's almost like practice before having kids.

I'm sort of weird because I also think about how a cat might get lonely, as I am out most of the day during the week. I'd want him/her to have a partner to play and meow with. I tend to think that animals might feel the same way I feel. I think if I had no contact with any other humans, I'd get pretty lonely and I think that's exactly how a cat would feel if there were no other animals around to keep him company. Am I being unrealistic?

Oh, and I also ache in the sense that my whole body aches. Muscle aches. I've been working out every other day now. The other day, the guy on the treadmill next to me almost fell off. I wanted to laugh because out of the corner of my eye, he looked funny when that happened. He was already embarrassed, as he made a joke to me and I smiled and muttered out that it's happened to me before. I don't know what's worse, tripping and almost falling off a treadmill or running into a pillar while doing aerobics. I've done both. Clumsy me.

Anyway, I've been meaning to write about the flowers that someone sent me the other day, but I'll save that for next time. This entry is already overloaded.