I'm a big mess. After work, I drove a co-worker to her boyfriend's work in Venice Beach. Then, I took surface streets home. It was just one of those days where you just feel like driving around and seeing what's around the neighborhood. I took Washington Blvd all the way to Venice to the 10. Now, if you haven't a clue as to where these streets are....let me tell you that it's a long drive. I saw buildings and things I never saw before. It was like I was in a daze and I just wanted to chill in my car. I saw the most fast food restaurants I've ever seen in a long time since moving to LA. I saw a beautiful victorian building called the Stein Building. I wonder what goes on in there.

It was also one of those days where if I had access to some sort of drug, I'd try it. I saw a guy with tatoos all over his body. It reminded me of crab nite. Two of my not-so-single guy friends had gotten tatoos. Huge tatoos on their arms. One had a sort of wavy sunburst with a hole in the center on his right elbow. All blue. The other guy had a HUGE, colorful troll on his upper left arm. Now, let me say that I used to not be crazy about tattoos, but for some reason, I found these tatoos to be extremely sexy. I kept staring at their arms. These tatoos were done in good taste, which probably is the reason I found them so sexy. Mark said that it hurt like hell. =)

I took a large garbage bag full of old clothes to work today before I donate them to good will. My co-workers were going through it this morning and found a cream-colored thermal undertop. It belonged to my ex, Rafael. Funny that I kept it with me when I moved. I've heard that it's sorta bad luck if you hang on to old items from ex's. Maybe that's why I haven't found a nice guy with the whole package, yet, who wants me as bad as I want him. Me, superstitious? Nah....sorta. Somewhere in my closet, I know there are tons more stuff, including a ring my first boyfriend gave me. He almost proposed to me with it, but when he saw the look on my face, he knew he couldn't go through with it. I wonder how much I can pawn it for?

It's time I get rid of all that junk before I move out of here in a few months. I was such a pack rat. I even kept every single rose that every ex has given me. It took up 3 boxes in my closet. I even found a box of chocolates from Valentine's day 10 yrs ago. It had bugs in there. Hahahaha.

I'm feeling better now, but that's probably because I'm sleepy and have no more energy to feel unhappy. And, probably the fact that writing out your thoughts is good therapy. I want to find happiness again. I want so badly to share my life with someone who I can truely trust. Is that too much to ask for?